Kaylor vs Christie Article

[GPater11093]

here it is the one i was working on

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need some feedback

[GazOC]

How the fuck can you be failing English at GCSE, make posts on here like you are typing wearing boxing gloves and yet write stuff as good as that????

[GPater11093]

How the fuck can you be failing English at GCSE, make posts on here like you are typing wearing boxing gloves and yet write stuff as good as that????

:lol::lol:

Its actually Higher English and im failing it because its all about writing techniques and connotations like 'why did a writer write such and such'

i say its because 'he means what he says or it sounds good' when the real answer is like 'ahh but it has connotations of this and that and it emphasise this' its utter BS.

Also i type on here because i relax here and dont need to write in perfect english. also i sometimes forget how to write words and their isnt a word check on here.

So what did you think of the article, the guy who runs the Boxrec news was telling me i made afew mistakes an dtahts his editted version also it was abit long and detailed. But what could i leave out?

[GazOC]

If I was nitpicking I'd say you shouldn't describe Sibson as a "sharpshooter", he was basically a "just" a heavy handed, come forward left hooker.

You've used "what" instead of "that" in the "boiled over" sentence.

And use commas. eg. this sentence you wrote should read like this.....


Just then, perhaps mirroring what was going on in the ring, a Firework exploded among the fans, fortunately no one was hurt and this was the only incident of crowd trouble the whole evening.


Great stuff though mate!!

[GPater11093]

Gaz fucking hell you combed that for the comma errors didnt you?

also Sibbo was a sharpshooter IMO

[ishy]

Greg mate, seriously good article especially at your age. Much, much better than some of the pish written on other sites.

[GazOC]

Gaz fucking hell you combed that for the comma errors didnt you?

also Sibbo was a sharpshooter IMO

Oh, so you want feedback just as long as its positive feedback??? Did you just want a pat on the back and be told it was great??;)

Sibbo was a lot of things but he wasn't a sharpshooter. I grew up watching the bloke, even his biggest fan wouldn't call him that!!

As for the commas, well I guess that answers why you're failing your GSE English. These things ARE important mate if you want to make a go of this sort of thing, it really affects how a sentence is read and how it comes across.

[GPater11093]

thanks Ish at least someone appreciates it (Gaz) :)

No appreciate the feedback Gaz, my grammer aint the best.

Ok fine he wasnt a sharpshooter, but he was good in shoot outs.

[GazOC]

Ok fine he wasnt a sharpshooter, but he was good in shoot outs.
:lol:

You're an argumentative fucker!!!:good

[GazOC]

Why don't you send it to TerryD and ask him what he thinks? I know he's more on the interviewing side but he's a good bloke and I'm sure he would give you a few decent pointers.

[GPater11093]

good advice Gaz, will do it in the morning

any other little errors you picked up, did i forget to dot an 'i' or cross a 't' :)

[GazOC]

good advice Gaz, will do it in the morning

any other little errors you picked up, did i forget to dot an 'i' or cross a 't' :)

If you REALLY want me to go through that article properly then I will........:fire;)

Its a great piece mate, and I know you think I'm being needlessly picky, but its the little things that count when people are reading pieces like that.

(See what I did with the commas in that last sentence?):p;)

[GPater11093]

haha nice one Gaz, that is called in parentheisis

Only thing i felt was i went abit overloaded on detail but i love stuff like that for me it brings the fight alive i love reading the old newspaper blow by blows.

[ardy]

here it is the one i was working on

[Only registered and activated users can see links]

need some feedback

Great article kid, at this rate of going I will be reading your stuff in Boxing News soon.:hi:

[GPater11093]

Great article kid, at this rate of going I will be reading your stuff in Boxing News soon.:hi:

thanks