Punch-Drunken
Stupor: "What Price Unity? It'll Kostya"
Jonathan David Morris
06.11 - Not that the meager existence
of yours truly amounts to much more than combat sports
and a keyboard, but it's my contention that God created
Saturday nights to serve as tests of testicular fortitude
for the fight fan with some semblance of a social
life. With premium prizefights typically relegated
to weekend evening time slots, my trusty VCR tends
to enjoy the big fights anywhere from a few hours
to a few days earlier than I do.
Such is the almost weekly battle in
the backstage of this man's mind: Going out versus
staying in. It's a struggle with which I've become
quite familiar.
Kostya Tszyu versus Zab Judah, however,
was a match-up not so commonplace, a showdown so long
in the making that I simply had to see it for myself.
Like most fight fans, I've patiently
followed their out-of-ring exploits for what seems
like eons now, just waiting for the dispatch and eventual
collision of the speeding locomotives that are their
respective careers. Even through the obligatorily
obnoxious ring walks and fighter introductions this
past Saturday, I paid close attention to any and every
developing situation, thrilled that the bout was at
last set to commence.
With moments to spare before the opening
bell, my prefight mental preparation regressed into
one part anticipation and one part anxious fear. Eager
as I was for the oft-postponed clash, something in
my gut promised it was much too good to be true. This
is boxing, so it comes as little surprise that, in
fact, it was.
Suffice to say, I stayed in this past
Saturday and subsequently came to question my decision--as
well as someone else's.
With a close and careful eye on the
action, I watched Judah play the part of young artisan,
peppering his plodding opponent with awkward technique
and stunning speed in the first round. I watched,
too, as Tszyu methodically worked his way back into
the mix in the following stanza. The going was just
getting good.
Then I blinked.
Then it was over.
In actuality, I didn't blink but rather
looked away. I'm embarrassed to admit it, but I'll
own up to my mistakes. Fact is, I looked down at the
remote control for a second--a split second!--to put
my finger on the previous channel button. I wanted
to check in on my beloved yet beleaguered New York
Yankees in between rounds; I ended up missing the
knockout blow.
Replays confirmed I missed little.
The punch thrown by Tszyu, while impressive enough
in its own right, was simply not one that was fight-winner
worthy.
Not all was lost, of course. I did
look up in time to see Judah flopping about the ring
like a leftover rubber chicken from last week's Halloween
party. But was it worth all that waiting and all that
close watching? Not by a long shot. Hell, it wasn't
even worth staying in.
What bothers me about the outcome
of this fight isn't so much the expediency with which
Tszyu dismantled Judah but rather the way in which
Referee Jay Nady didn't allow either man to finish
the job.
Maybe two heads are better than one.
I mean, when we had two 140-pound champions, at least
we had an exciting fight to look forward to. Now,
we've got discrepancies and plenty of them.
After Judah's temporary rise from
the canvas--and before his rip-roaring fall back down--he
inaudibly muttered something in Nady's direction.
One has to wonder just what in the world he was complaining
about, seeing as how the knockdown was fair, but having
said anything at all shows he had at least his partial
wits about him.
In retrospect, for Nady to waltz in
there and wave it off seems unprofessional.
A flash knockdown is a momentary shock
to the nervous system. The reason Judah collapsed
again was not necessarily because he was excessively
hurt but likely because his body had initially regrouped
much faster than his brain. It's an equilibrium thing.
This fact is verified by his bouncing back to his
feet as Nady ended the action.
The old referee adage is that a fighter's
well-being is determinable by the look in his eyes.
Nady not only failed to make eye contact, he withheld
the ten count.
I'm not crying corruption here. Nady
messed up. End of story.
Naturally, he excused himself in the
trite and typical third man's fashion, saying he made
a judgment call with someone's life on the line. There's
validity in such a statement, no denying that. However,
credibility should not dispel culpability, and therein
lies the problem.
There isn't an active referee out
there who doesn't deserve some due. Regularly offering
to take other lives into one's own palms is a bold
sacrifice. Respect for every official is warranted.
Yet the widespread opinion that referees
stop bouts prematurely is not without merit.
Controversial endings are to boxing
like peanut butter is to jelly. Danger, of course,
is boxing's bread. Referees have come to fear this.
It's as if they'll call off the bout as soon as someone's
hurt. Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't pain the
impetus of professional fisticuffs?
While I respect both Nady's dilemma
as well as the fact that he had to make a decision,
simply put, I don't agree with said decision. He was
saddled with emotionally taxing duties of the highest
order and they managed to get the best of him. He
should've let the fight run its course.
This was a world title unification
between a pair of stallions. Nady didn't have to let
Judah continue, but he owed it to the fighters and
the fans to at least see if it was possible.
Suppose Judah was legitimately endangered.
So what? So you give him a ten count and one of three
scenarios can unfold. One is that he doesn't get up--hey,
the fight's over anyway, so there's no harm done.
The second is Judah gets up and, judging by his eyes,
Nady confirms his premonitions of a beaten man. Again,
there's no harm in double-checking. It significantly
reduces the chance for controversy and it clarifies
the fight's ending.
The third possible outcome is that
Judah gets up and is deemed all right. This would
have allowed Tszyu to finish him off in the exciting
fashion that his fans deserved, or it would have allowed
Judah back into the fight for the long haul. For better
or worse, it's the fate that all boxing fans deserved.
Look at it this way: Sports fans were
treated to a thrilling week of championship baseball
this year. In some ways, the World Series is a lot
like a unification bout in that you've got the champions
of two separate leagues vying for universal respect.
But what if baseball unification was to occur under
the same standards applied to Tszyu and Judah?
Just as Tszyu was finishing his man
this past Saturday, the Arizona Diamondbacks were
administering the final touches of another sound beating.
They bested the New York Yankees by a score of 15-2
and tied their seven game series at three apiece.
The severity of their series-tying win would've signaled
an early end to the championships, were baseball playing
by boxing's rules. This would've robbed folks of an
intense deciding game, which, as it turned out, was
an instant classic.
What if the series had been called
off after the Yankees swept the three previous contests?
What if it had been called off after the Diamondbacks
swept the first two? What would such fantasies have
proved? Nothing. Much like Saturday night's 140-pound
unification bout.
Between Tszyu and Judah, we still
don't know who's better. We know that Tszyu's a slow
starter. We know that Judah's sloppiness grows alongside
overconfidence. But we still don't know who's better.
A rematch is called for, even if it's
just to clear the stank in the air which still lingers
over Las Vegas. Like I said, by intervening in the
way that he did, Nady prevented both men from finishing
the job on their own terms. Instead, the knockout
scored Saturday evening now casts something of a shadow
on Kostya Tszyu's victory, undeserved or not. Also,
the inconclusive conclusion paved the way for Judah's
hysterics afterwards.
We asked for Tszyu versus Judah. We
got it. We asked for a single 140-pound champion.
We got it. Tszyu's the legit champ and no one should
take that away from him, but this long-awaited battle
is far from over. There's plenty of reason to believe
Tszyu would come out on top again, so why not give
boxing fans and the fighters themselves the closure
we've waited so long for?
I guess the most telling sign of the
times was Old Man Mike sitting at ringside, shaking
his head subtly as he watched his little buddy Judah
storm the ring in protest. If Mike Tyson has become
placid enough to serve as boxing's man of reason,
maybe I'm ancient enough to stay in on Saturdays.
With quick-trigger stoppages the likes of Tszyu versus
Judah, come next Saturday, I'll probably do just that.
Anything to ease the pain, right?
Punch-Drunken Stupor: Kostya Tszyu
vs Zab Judah
Jonathan David
Morris
30.10
- Welcome
to Junior Welterville. Population: 140.
The good news is:
The boys are back in town. The bad news is: Ah, Hell,
there’s no bad news--Kostya Tszyu and Zab Judah
are set to get it on!
Boxing has long operated
in a vacuum. For the second time in as many months,
however, the superstars and less-than-heavenly sanctioning
bodies are strangely aligned. Unification, astronomers
call it. We’re talking twelve rounds, three titles,
two men and one winner. I’ll be damned if that
doesn’t add up to a stellar Saturday night at
the fights.
Kostya Tszyu versus
Zab Judah. Sounds swell enough. Perhaps it’s
not Tito Trinidad versus Bernard Hopkins, but since
we've already had that battle, hey, why not?
Tszyu and Judah is
a compelling match-up in its own right. One’s
a sharpshooter, the other a quick draw. They’re
equally cocksure, evenly skilled and balanced in their
flaws.
Some people call them
space cowboys. Yeah, some call them the gangsters
of glove. It’s a small world, after all, and
I reckon Junior Welterville ain’t big enough
for the both of them--this weekend, only one will
be called the champ.
They’ve talked
a bunch of smack. They’ve postponed this duel
what seems like a dozen times. The townsfolk here
in Junior Welterville don’t mind. They’ll
carry one man atop their shoulders back to the saloon,
then send the other into the sunset on the horse he
rode in on. Feather in his cap. Tail between his legs.
Thank God this one’s
a pick ‘em.
Judah’s got speed
and a sense of greatness on his side. He’s been
down a few times, not quite on his own accord yet
usually by his own doing. He’s sloppily confident
and overly tough. He’s the shit-eating son of
a bitch you can’t help but root for.
Tszyu’s a rock
in the ring. At times, he’s looked like an awesome
champion, softening opponents’ sweet spots with
two straight-punching stingers known as left and right.
Occasionally, however, he’s been plagued with
the complacency bug. When it hits him, it hits him
hard.
So, who will win?
Call me crazy, but I’m not sure it matters. Either
way, one man will walk away with the marbles, a fact
that’s exciting on premise alone.
Let’s talk trends
here. As in, this insane unification infatuation that
fighters have had lately.
From near and far--East
and West, in this case--they’ve come wearing
leather gloves, gold-plated belts and scowls upon
their mugs. They’re the tried and true champions
of professional boxing and upon a landscape seventeen
divisions wide, they've congregated in an apparent
attempt to put up and/or shut up.
They’ll do things
the cowboy way, just like Judah and Tszyu. Ten paces
and a brisk flick of the wrist, face-to-face with
their interpromotional counterparts. It’s precisely
what the WBC, WBA and IBF sheriffs thought you’d
never see.
Saddle up, partner.
It’s going to be fun.
And it’s the
strangest thing--a phenomenon, really. Did you expect
it in your lifetime? I didn’t.
Trinidad and Hopkins
(not to mention William Joppy and Keith Holmes, who
also deserve a nod) bore the torch at middleweight.
Miraculously, Judah and Tszyu are up next.
Politics as usual
have been unusually absent in this wonderful movement.
Two years ago, with boxing mired in such inglorious
affairs as the IBF trial and an unending supply of
other nineties-style scandals, title unification bouts
such as these would have been nearly impossible. Now,
they’re popping up all over, and it appears that
nothing can stop them.
Not several cancellation
close-calls for Judah and Tszyu. Not even the decimation
of New York City for Trinidad and Hopkins.
If things are this
good in boxing, you ask, mustn't it be a dream?
Your incredulity is
understood, but, believe it or not, it’s inappropriate
at this time. So, take that astonishment of yours,
store it safely and securely (somewhere easy to find--this
is boxing, you’re guaranteed to need it eventually)
and simply sit back and relish Judah and Tszyu as
the important and likely exciting fight that it’s
shaping up to be.
And wallow, too, in
the wonders of proving Mr. Know-It-All Sportscaster
and Mr. Thumb-In-The-Butt Sports Reporter wrong, dead
wrong. They said it couldn’t be done. They swore
it wouldn’t be done. On the heels of Trinidad-Hopkins,
Judah-Tszyu is yet another step towards embarrassing
those who are ignorant on the sweet science, yet another
step towards the restoration of the greatest, purest
sport known to man.
This widespread title
unification might not last. It’s a moon shot
I’m not willing to play my poker face on, what
with the space cadets boxing still allows at its helm.
For now, no matter
who wins this Saturday night, just watching Mr. Know-It-All
Sportscaster and Mr. Thumb-In-The-Butt Sports Reporter
squirm as the names Zab and Kostya show up in their
Microsoft spellcheckers, well, that’s pleasure
enough for me.
STUPOR MAILBAG
» RE: What
The World Needs Now 10.24.01
I hope all of your columns speak the truth like
this one has. I agree, we need a man to lead boxing
fans to…a revolution in which boxing is represented
by the best. One man with all three major titles.
As far as Tyson and Lewis being past their prime,
I think that you are correct but I do think that they
may still be two of the best in the division. One
more of your comments I would like to respond to is
the comment about Chris Bird. Thank You. I thought
that I was the only one that thought he is the most
boring guy to watch.
-Justin White
Thanks for reading,
Justin. In regards to Tyson and Lewis, yes, they remain
a factor. Like I said, I wouldn't deny them their
talents. Given their age, however, I just wonder if
it's good for boxing. An infusion of youth is impossible
if the old fogeys are still clogging up the rankings
(even rightfully so). On the topic of Chris Byrd,
no sir, you're not alone. But did you know that the
Vicks corporation has found a way to capture that
Chris Byrd magic in a bottle for mass distribution?
It's true, it's true. They call it NyQuil.
» RE: The
Ballad of Anthony Mundine 10.24.01
It is a horrific scene in ground zero but…I
will not forget about the sanctions we put on Iraq
which have caused the deaths of how many innocent
people? And I will not forget the war on drugs (or
war on some ethnic minorities that use some drugs).
We cannot forget what we are guilty of even at a time
like this. If we do we are not patriotic Americans
who want to change this country for the better, we
are just being blind fools and that's exactly why
this happened. Before you call me a tree hugger, think
about what this world would be like if we had more
people who did care about life, environmental concerns,
animal rights, our drinking water, etc. We wouldn't
have a president that cares more about religion and
business instead of his people. Think about what he
destroyed before this happened. But by the way, Mundine
will get his ass kicked by Ottke anyway. Mundine is
just a stupid person, don't fault him for being brainwashed
by his religion.
-Robert Weber
Can I call you a treehugger
now? Says you: "We are just being blind fools
and that's exactly why this happened." Says me:
Actually, this happened because a ragtag bunch of
morons imploded their asinine agenda aboard four American
airplanes on the eleventh of September. Come on man,
get a clue. This sentiment is precisely what's gotten
Mundine's name in the papers in the first place. Is
America perfect? No, I'll grant you we're not. But
I'll be damned if you're going to place the blame
squarely on the shoulders of the fairest nation on
Earth. You think America's doing a rotten job? Try
Communist China, why don't you? Thanks for reading.
Your opinion is appreciated.
And that's just about
all for now, my friends. Feel free to drop me a line
and try your best to prove me wrong. Stupor@JonathanDavidMorris.com.
Word.
