Boxing


Harrison vs. Haye – British fans perspectives and predictions

By Fantana: Good evening fight fans! We are just a few man-hours away from the biggest heavyweight fight Britain has seen this century and the excitement factor just got knocked up a notch after the weigh in yesterday. Sky Sports News were on hand to interview fight fans, and real men such as myself, asking them hard hitting questions like ‘Who is going to win?’ and also ‘Will the weight difference be a big factor in the fight?’ Skip to around 38 seconds in to see your favourite British writer’s opinion broadcast on Sky. Please note – I am NOT Bruce Willis.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fruzngC127I

The fun didn’t stop there though as last night I went and mingled with the common people to find out who these men in the pubs are rooting for. Late last night in the Clothiers Arms, Yeadon, Leeds, I asked a variety of men, old and young and came away with some valuable feedback. Firstly and most importantly is everyone I spoke to knew who Audley Harrison is. Secondly, and shockingly, none of these people bar one young man knew who Manny Pacquiao was. Clearly this is a big indicator that Audley Harrison is the biggest name in boxing right now.

A young group of students named Jason, Danny, James and Will all felt that the Hayemaker would finish it inside of two devastating rounds claiming David Haye is too fast and too furious for A-Force. Not deterred, by the negative comments the students had to say, I went around the pub and prophesied the fight how I saw it.

My pro Audley rants didn’t go down too well with some and I was scarily grabbed in a headlock by a big bugger named Oada who was obviously firmly in the team Haye camp. I only just managed to avoid a severe beating by bribing him with two bags of scampi Nic Nacs and a Blue WKD.

Moving on from my brush with death I spoke to the bouncer named Rich who wanted to throw me out at one point but then realized we were fellow Audley Harrison fans. His thoughts on the fight were this – Audley Harrison is too big and strong for Haye who is a too light. At this stage in proceedings I noticed an old bloke called Dave who strongly agreed with Rich. “Audley is just too big, he looks mean. I haven’t seen someone that mean looking since Craig Kelly went on a drunken rampage back in the summer of ’99. Judging by the carnage mad Craig Kelly did in this fine pub goodness knows what Audley is going to do to David Haye.”

OFFICIAL PREDICTION

Obviously a lot can change once the bell rings but right now I firmly believe Audley Harrison will win in the first round, via knockout with a huge punch to the chops of David Haye. I imagine Audley will then pick me out of the crowd and parade me around the ring on his mighty shoulders, in a non-gay way. He might even let me touch his belt.


Yours in manliness,
Fantana


About the author – Fantana is currently barred from the Clothier’s Arms, Yeadon, Leeds.

Article posted on 14.11.2010



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